One of my favorite blogs is Cultivate Her, so today I’d like to share it with you.
*Post by Susie Aboulhosn*
She stood there…alone. Once again, she wondered how she managed to make a mess of everything in her life. She felt isolated from those closest to her. She felt so far from Him. She didn’t know how she could ever make things right again. She was not sure if she even had the energy to try again. All she could do was question, “why?”
Have you ever felt this way?–Getting to a point of just giving up and having more questions than answers. I know I have. It wasn’t too long ago that I found myself spinning completely out of control—with my emotions, my actions, my thoughts. I had done my best job at pushing everyone away. I wanted to be isolated. I wanted to sit in my own “pity.” I would still go to church, but I went and stood in complete defiance. I went because I knew I should. But, I would not praise. I would not sing. I was hurt and confused, and I wanted answers.
I wish I could say that this happened and then a week later I was back to “normal.” I can’t though, it lasted for months.
I wish I could answer the question of “why.” I can’t though, I am still learning the answers.
I wish I could give you the formula to “fixing” your life. I can’t though, there is no easy recipe for it.
I can tell you that I did learn a lot about myself. I learned that there were things I needed to work on. Things I needed to address from my past to become a better person in the future. I learned about friendships. I learned what it meant to have “true friends” who would rise to the occasion to lift me up during a time when all I wanted to do was run in the opposite direction. I also learned how to become a better friend to those who would need to be lifted up in the future.
I learned about God. I learned that it was okay to ask Him hard questions. I learned it was okay to be angry with Him. I learned that even when I was ready to turn my back on Him, He would gently turn me back to a stronger relationship with Him. I learned to call Him “Papa” and I learned how to intimately converse with Him.
I am not sure where you are in your current walk with God or if you have one at all. If you happen to be in that dark area, let me encourage you that this season will not last forever. It will, however, last longer than you want it to.
Know that it is okay.
Know that you are okay.
Take this time to look for the light in your life. It may just be a sliver of light, but it’s still there. For those of you who may not be walking in the dark right now, do you know someone who is? Is there someone you need to reach out to? Is there someone who needs you just to be there—not to give advice but be there for them to lean upon? Is there someone you need to encourage this week?