Ah, the beginning of the rough patch, and the glorious moments of the roses. Years 9-12 were fraught with emotion and stress for our family. We made the decision to buy our first home, and found a wonderful deal on building a home. Dean and I don’t quite think the same on the ‘timeline’ for when things should be done and when they shouldn’t, and I can admit that I had a hard time trusting him to get things done as “I” thought they should be. Communication was stressful sometimes….but amazingly enough, the home was built in perfect time and we moved in.
While in the midst of my own little world of an almost kindergartner and her sisters, my husband was in a world of struggle and distress. He was transferred to a different position at the Y and the new job wasn’t what we/he thought it would be. Years later, he would tell me of the great stress and heartbreak of this time, but I was completely ignorant. Why, I am not sure. I don’t quite understand how I could have missed the pain he was going through, but yet part of me thinks I was protecting myself. I simply couldn’t handle one more persons’ struggles while dealing with 3 children under 5, 2 doggies, leading a Bible study, co-leading a Sunday school, working part time at the church, stressing over public/private/homeschool for our kindergartener, oh, and dealing with a heart condition that seemed to get worse the more stressful my life became.
As year 12 was coming to an end, the heart condition was taken care of through an outpatient heart ablation procedure, the kindergartner was home schooled and then accepted into a charter school, and we received 3 phone calls within one week to take a new job elsewhere in the country. Thus, our adventure was about to get more fun – selling a house, finding a new place/school/friends/church, and being away from family. Our marriage was still there….going strong….but some of the foundations were beginning to crack. Looking back, our relationship wasn’t a priority for us. So many others things got in the way and just made it too hard – so we just didn’t try. We assumed it would all be okay.