The past 2+ weeks have been a bit different for me, and many of those around me. Situations came up, circumstances happened, and many of us found ourselves reacting and responding to circumstances that were out of our realm to handle, much less handle delicately and sensitively to those around us. It was one of those things you read about in books or watch in a movie…but don’t think it’ll happen in your little neck of the woods. Alas, though, sin and deceitfulness don’t wait for a new movie to show their teeth.
Now, why the title 9 days? It took me 9 days to grieve and cry over the situation. For many, it happened instantaneously – the anger and the sadness. Me – I felt a bit like a zombie living in someone else’s world, just trying to figure out what to do next and what I can do to help. And, once the help was exhausted, my mental tank on empty and my spiritual tank even lower, I crashed. It was truly an innocuous thing – I picked up a hot pan on the stove and burst into tears. But, the tears didn’t stop, but rather increased – greatly. My poor husband – he was thinking the pan wasn’t that hot – do I need to take her to the emergency room? Finally when I could squeak out what was wrong, he just held me. He had dealt with his anger and sadness, so I imagine he knew mine would come eventually.
Everyone reacts differently to grief- grief of a loved one, a lost relationship, a friendship rejected, or even grief of choices we made and now must face the consequences. I think for a long time I thought grief only happened when someone died. But, I have learned over the past few days that there are many other variations of death than cause grief, and the physical death is only one.