How long has it been since a post? Well, long enough for me to forget my username and password….
These past days have been margin-less days. I value the margins in my life – the quiet, non-schedule space. But, the pace I’ve been going since June has allowed little of these margins. All choices were made by me and nothing was thrust upon me that I didn’t agree too or choose. But, as it goes, my time continued to be swallowed whole by people, places, and things. When the quiet came in our home, my bed was the first thing that received my attention.
Today, however, is a new day. Slowly, the margins are returning. School is back in session, work has evened out some, and I see glimpses of quiet in my day. Now, whether I choose to be quiet in those moments, or fill them with the other 18 things clamoring for my attention – well, that varies.
Over the summer, I’ve had so many ideas for posts, so many thoughts to share, yet I wrote nothing down. Alas, I hope they slowly come back to me as the space in my brain frees up! Today, though, I wanted to share about life.
The past two days, I’ve heard some very hard, sad stories. Stories about people who are in situations due to bad choices, or situations due to bad choices made by someone else that directly affects them. And, it is hard to hear. Hard to watch others make decisions that aren’t the wisest thing, and then watch the domino effect. As a mom, it is hard to wrap my mind around choices that parents make that clearly have a detrimental effect on their children, yet they continue to make them. They continue to mark the road with mile markers of bad decisions, bad choices, and their child trails right behind, often losing the way to get back to the right path.
And, I’ll be honest. There are moments, many of them, that completely baffle me – completely baffle logic, faith, good will, values, and moral ‘rightness’. And as I get older, I seem to be more baffled. I shake my head more, and certainly have become more judgmental, much to my own detriment, for that matter.
And that is where I draw the line. Stop judging. Start praying. Ask for grace. Grace was given to me – is given to me over and over. I need to extend that to others, no matter what I think, how I would have chose differently, how ticked off I get at choices made. I don’t want to grow up and be one of those old, judgemental, mad at the world women that we all know. I want to be one of those wise, graceful women who folks seek during hard times, knowing there is no judgement, but rather there is grace. And, I know that those women didn’t just happen to turn out that way. They made choices, probably often the harder choice and the one that seemed to scream ‘but it’s not fair’ choice, but in the long term, it was a wise choice, well worth taking.