People……

People seem to cause me some of the greatest joys, and also some of the greatest heartaches – all within minutes of each other sometimes.

I have learned over the years to not be as sensitive as I used to be, but it is still quite hard. The smallest glance not given, the tone of voice said slightly skewed, the lack of respect can send me spiraling to the ‘people don’t care about me’ mood.

But, I’ve found that I do the same thing. I get consumed with a thought that I ignore an entire dialogue by my children. I can be thinking so intently of something that it consumes the way I behave, the way I smile, and the way I speak and yet it usually has nothing to do with any person I am around.

It all makes me wonder, then, how many people have I sent into heartache because of my carelessness and my intense focus on ME. Far too many, I am afraid.

When those moments come that I think ‘poor me’, I then stop. Take a step back and look outward, not inward. I look for gratitude, not greediness for my own ways. And, if that doesn’t work, I step away and spend some time with my Creator who can love me no more, and no less than He already does. He knows my thoughts before I think them, He knows my days, and He has a plan and a purpose for me. And in that, I will dwell.

 

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